Q. Where should I buy my kilt?
A. You'd be stark raving bonkers to go anywhere but Kilt Store - the world's best quality kilts at rock-bottom prices!
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Haggis |
An endangered species |
 Upon a hill there was a coo, it must hae gone cause it's no there noo  |
| - James XII |
"Scottish cuisine"
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Some people think a haggis looks like a football. They say its difficult to tell whether you should kick it or eat it. After you've eaten it, you wish you'd kicked it.
The sport of haggis baiting has become ever more popular since the 1970s leading to a genuine fear of extinction. Experts believe that if the hunting of haggis by packs of docile Skye terriers is not properly licensed, this remarkable animal could be extinct by the start of the next decade. Thankfully a group of like-minded farmers from the Haggis Organisation for Good (HOG) have implemented a newly engineered breeding schedule at an Inverness safari park. Their aim is to re-populate the Scottish countryside with this most dextrous of creatures.
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THE MYTH
A haggis is a small three-legged animal native to the Highland glens and mountains. Indigenous to Scotland the wee globular beastie is considered a delicacy amongst the upper echelons of society. Beware though, haggis is only available in season - 30th November (St. Andrews Day) to 25th January (Robert Burns birthday).
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THE FACTS
Haggis is the following:
A savoury dish made from the internal organs of a sheep (minced) mixed with oatmeal, spices, salt, pepper and boiled in a sheep's stomach. The sheep is normally dead and the stomach removed prior to boiling. This is the ancient equivalent of a 'boil in the bag' meal. Seemingly this concoction was a popular meal in Greece before arriving on Scottish shores. Haggis is normally served with mashed neeps (turnip) and mashed tatties (potatoes). Although considered our national dish, it's not a meal you'd regularly eat. In more recent times, haggis has been found in the fish and chip shop, deep-fried in batter. It wasn't a Scotsman who invented vegetable oil but as a nation we've certainly had a go at frying every known food - including Mars bars.
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 Did You Know? | |
The sweet toothed Scot consumes a vast quantity of cakes, chocolate, sweeties and ice cream. So, to say someone has a sweet tooth is a contradiction in terms considering sweeties make your teeth fall out.
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The first 'hands on' haggis birth made national headlines in March 2000, when Doctor Campbell Macdonald delivered a twelve pound eight ounce haggis in the safari park's purpose-built haggis house (known as a croft). The healthy beast, affectionately named Donald by the park's administration staff, will be a walking howling attraction in the park for many years to come. It is believed that in a loving caring environment, the Highland haggis can live for up to sixty-two years.
"A really sad continental breakfast"
"A healthy Scottish breakfast"
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Other Scottish grub:
 | Scotch broth - barley and vegetable soup. |
 | Cullen Skink - cream of smoked haddock soup. |
 | Cock-a-leekie - leek and chicken soup served with prunes. |
 | Bannocks - oatcakes. |
 | Scotch Eggs - boiled eggs surrounded in sausage meat and deep fried in bread crumbs. |
 | Bridie - minced steak and onion pie. |
 | Clootie Dumpling - a sweet dumpling made with currants, sultanas, cinnamon, brown sugar, syrup and ginger. |
 | Cranachan - a mixture of whipped cream and oatmeal. |
 | Arbroath Smokie - smoked herring. |
 | Dundee Cake - heavy dark fruit cake. |
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His knife see rustic-labour dight,
An cut you up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich.
- Robert Burns - To a Haggis - third verse
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The heaviest recorded haggis weighed sixteen stone four ounces, caught by an Orkney farmer in 1922.
"A family of west coast haggis (permed in captivity)"
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Curiously enough, the haggis makes a sound similar to a set of bagpipes. During mating season the mountainous regions of Scotland can sound like a virtual marching band.
Did you hear about the Scot who walked into a bakery and asked, "Is that a macaroon in the window or a meringue?" (or am I wrang - wrong). The selfsame baker tried to economise by making the hole in his doughnuts bigger until he realised the bigger he made the hole the more dough he needed to surround it.
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